oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
