You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
