so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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