I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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