I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
