Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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