That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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