Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
