Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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