Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
