We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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