I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
