Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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