living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize