I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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