Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
