I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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