Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
