We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
