I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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