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I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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