Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
