Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
operation have a gay friend backfired
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
