So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
