They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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