Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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