R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
