SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
