im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Buhtt sex?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Everclear isn't food dammit
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
