Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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