you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize