why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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