Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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