the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
