No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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