I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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