i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize