you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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