Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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