I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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