These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
