so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
