the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
