we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
