He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
