I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
