you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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