then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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