roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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