is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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