Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
