This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
