Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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