U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
