when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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