Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
