i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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