youre lurking in front of me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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