So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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