Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
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