what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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