Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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