dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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