Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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